Living on the inside looking out
2020 has been anything if not predictable.
As I put the finishing touches to Football is. Isolation one of the enduring themes was how positive and hopeful people were that we would find a new normal and return to football. As tentative steps were made to resume training it was the willingness of everyone to work within the COVID-19 guidelines that set the pathway for a resumption of the 2020 season. As we reached closer to this reality everything changed on One afternoon in July when a second wave of lockdowns was announced by the state government.
They say a day is a long time in politics and in a pandemic it is a lifetime. Melbourne is meant to be the sporting capital of Australia. As I sit here on my balcony writing and listening to music we have reached the half way point of the stage four restrictions and all professional sports have migrated interstate and devastatingly all other competitions have been cancelled.
During some of the later interviews for Football is. isolation discussion turned to the second pre-season under COVID-19 guidelines and what the experience was like. Overwhelmingly everyone couldn’t wait to see people in a group again, see the community and enjoy the banter and being back at their respective clubs.
However, there remained a level of uncertainty and anxiety in regards to life under COVID-19 guidelines and what this meant for the resumption of full competition.
Matt Hennessey’s (Pascoe Vale FC) return to training experience is just one example of the strangeness of the time; ‘I arrived to the club about an hour early, which was probably a mistake, because you can't really do much now that there's no change rooms open. So you walk in, get temperature checks, get signed off, sanitise, change rooms are outside, everyone's got their own water bottles. Everyone's got their sort of ‘X’ on the ground for how far you can sit away from people. And then I just stood on the pitch and waited until training started, there wasn't anything to do. It was really bizarre. It took you back to when you were eight years old, just rocking out to training with your own water bottle and running out on the pitch and just getting started.’
Matt continues to explain what the session was like; ‘We trained in two teams of 10. You’re split half and half on each side of the pitch. And then one team was doing one drill while the other we're doing another drill. I spoke to someone and I didn't see him for the rest of the session because they're on the other side of the pitch.’
The most common feeling everyone shared was that they were keen to start playing football, ‘to arrive on game day and have something to play for - those valuable three points.’
With the second pre-season almost complete everyone was gearing up for the resumption of play and a sense of hope and excitement was becoming evident. The sense that we were finally going to see some football was building up and the season was within reach.
Seemingly out of nowhere we suddenly found ourselves experiencing post code lockdowns followed by a rapid move to stage three or four and with this the 2020 Football season in Melbourne and Mitchell shire was cancelled.
I spoke with a number of people post the cancellation and was immediately struck by the overwhelming sense of disappointment felt by everyone. Devastation is certainly a way of describing it. I recall how flat, speechless and in some cases confused people appeared. The impact of the last four months was taking its toll. Most people admit that the on, off nature of things meant that deep down they were not surprised.
As a contrast at the same time all Football competitions around Australia began to restart their modified seasons while players and fans in Victoria watched on with a growing envy that life would not be resuming to normal for a longtime. It was akin to being invited to a party but not being allowed to attend. Matt Hennessey describes the cancellation of the season as;
‘nothing more than disappointment really, I mean, it was on, it was off, it was on, it was off. You’d hear rumours and then just had to wait until it's confirmed. I think Football Victoria tried their best to let it play and it obviously got to the point where it's just beyond possible to do so. So once it was official that was just general disappointment considering not so much the long preseason and putting in the hard graft for about eight or nine months, I didn't mind that at all. It was purely just missing that game day feeling, that game day routine and getting a chance to do something with the season, whether it be promotion or you know, challenge.’
A majority of people playing in the league have been left behind with few options for 2020. Matt, has witnessed a number of friends go interstate during this period. ‘I'm quite good friends with a few boys that have gone back to Queensland and back to Perth to go home. And they've all signed for clubs in those areas. I'm seeing them sending videos of their game day preparations. It's so bizarre that they're an hour away and they're almost living life normally. And I've literally got to have a reason to get out of the house so that if I do get caught for driving from A to B, I've got to try and explain myself. It's bizarre.’
Matt say’s that seeing the activity of the interstate competitions while he is stuck in lockdown here is Melbourne is the cause of much frustration. ‘I’m just jealous. They're in a position where they can do it. And if I was in a position where, I didn't have prior commitments and with things down here there's no doubt in my mind I'd be taking a flight off to Brisbane or off to Perth and try to get some football in. For me personally that's something I'd love to do, but it's something I can't do so I’ve just got to suck it up and try and continue on.’
The reality of the cancellation is that it has robbed some people of any aspirations they had in place for 2020. Whether it was to finally get a chance to be seen by a professional club, gain promotion into NPL, win a championship or even progression deep into the FFA Cup. Out side of football it has in some cases meant that studies or work ambitions have also had to be tempered until we regain a ‘normal’. Everything seems to be paused until 2021.
Heidelberg United’s Josh Wilkins life on and off the pitch is in limbo. He’s waiting to complete the practical component of his degree whilst also setting his sights on a last shot in the A-league.
For Josh, as case numbers increased he realised the season was on the line. ‘As soon as it looked like it was leaning towards another lockdown I knew the season wasn't going to happen. It’s pretty upsetting, it’s July and we started preseason in November/December. 2019. So it's been very drawn out. I guess we move on in the end.’
I asked Josh, if he felt it effected his attitude to everything to which he outlined what one of the impacts of the season being cancelled was for him.
‘For me, definitely big time because at the start of this preseason I thought to myself if I don’t make it as a pro, if I don't push into the A-League this year. I think this is will be the last chance, because by the end of this year, I finish my degree and then I'm looking at getting a pretty good job and I’m not sure the a-league can offer me figures that would be similar to my post grad pay plus earnings as a Semi Pro. So, there's a lot that goes into that equation. Obviously, then the mental side of things now makes me feel a little bit less motivated, moving forward, because now I'm a year older. I'm 28 next year. I still love what I do. So there will always be that passion and drive in that regard. But mentally it's very difficult. After all how do you opt into something when there is still a big question mark over your shoulder, asking yourself whether or not it's still going to happen next year, given the circumstances, what if we have a third or fourth lockdown? So a lot to consider.’
Like Josh, Avondale FC’s Stefan Zinni had to process the immediate impact of the cancellation of the season on not only his recovery from shoulder surgery but also his career prospects outside of football. After all what do you focus on now? Stefan retell’s how he felt when hearing the news;
‘It's genuinely crazy, a roller coaster of emotions.’
‘To be honest, it almost became a relief in the end, to have a final verdict on what was happening with football this year. There was so much tooing and throwing you're just stuck, you're not sure if we're going to play, not sure whether to be fit or you know what you're working towards.’
‘I think most teams knew that the second lockdown was coming. I mean, as much as Football Victoria were pushing for it to go ahead. As much as the players want to play. You’ve got to put health and safety first. I think it was probably the right decision in the end for everyone's health and safety.’
For Stefan suddenly finding himself free over the winter months is a new experience. Like most people who play a winter sport having such a huge amount of time off during the season is unusual. ‘If there wasn't this virus I would have loved to have gone to Europe as the opportunity doesn't come around often where in a soccer season you can go to Europe in their summer. But in this instance it’s not possible.’
It’s an opportunity to reset and evaluate your priorities on and off the pitch.
I've got my shoulder that I need to get right, which I've been working on every day which is good. It's given me time to do that. But I think also in terms of my career outside of football this is a perfect opportunity to focus on my career. It's almost a blessing in disguise. I've actually started my CV today so I guess it's helped in a way so I can focus on other things. I studied property and real estate at Deakin so getting full time employment and building the foundations in my career outside of football will be my focus, but at the same time, I would have loved to be playing football this year. To some extent.
At least in terms of football we know what's going on for 2020 but in terms of the world, who knows?’
Please note image has been supplied
I think it would be safe to say that 2020 has been somewhat of a marathon for everyone. It’s been a case of learning the art of patience. This was the case for Morgan Filer who plays for the North Geelong Warriors after joining the club during the 2019 mid season transfer after playing for Point Cook in the State League competition. ‘I always got told you should be playing higher you should try to move to NPL but I just brushed it aside. I was enjoying playing. I didn't really have the motivation to challenge myself but then the former North Geelong coach from last year James Coutts rang me and said that we could do with someone like you. So, I gave it a shot and pushed myself in the trial and then two days after I signed I was in the starting lineup straight away. It was tough going. A big jump from State League to NPL. I didn’t think it'd be a bigger jump, but it was challenging it's good. I needed it needed a push.’
Morgan made his debut for North Geelong in an away match against Northcote City Morgan recalls, ‘we had a game against Northcote away. And that's when I made my debut and started and then played every game to the end of the season apart from one round when I was suspended. But apart from that I played every game, which is good for me. Obviously going there I got told that we were not signing you to start kind of thing. You'd have to earn your way like anyone else. So I never in a million years knew that two days after I signed that I would start and then start every game for the rest of season.’
Finishing 2019 on a personal high meant that Morgan was looking forward to the 2020 season and all it had to offer. So imagine how it would feel when it dawns on you that suddenly your ability to train and play was determined by your geographical location and not your ability.
The adjustment to the restrictions has been a challenge for Morgan as he explains; ‘when you go from training five times a week and then not training at all it kind of changes your life really doesn’t it. Everything just stops it's just so different. I never thought that I'd be 21 and waking up on a Saturday and have nothing to do. I'm usually getting ready for football but obviously without it and without training I'm coming home from work and I'm just laying on the sofa watching TV.’
Once Melbourne entered stage four restrictions Morgan soon had the realisation that living and working in Melbourne meant he would no longer be able to travel to regional Victoria (Geelong) to participate in training or even playing with your team mates. ‘There's three of us that live in Melbourne, in the western suburbs of Melbourne. The rest of them are all from Geelong. So the team are training three nights a week as normal going about their normal business keeping fit. And, yeah, we have to just look at the messages in the group chat and just be depressed really. It’s horrible really, when you go from playing four or five times a week to not playing at all and watching everyone in your team still training. It’s like being injured, there is nothing you can do.’
Morgan continues with the injury analogy
‘The thing keeping me going is knowing that Football is gonna come back at some point. It's not permanent. It's not like football's done forever. It's not a career ending injury. It's real tough because it's been nearly a year since the last game of competitive football.’
2020 has challenged the whole concept of pre-season and the impact of the stop start nature of it. Like everyone else for Morgan this has become part of the narrative. Added to this was the departure the coach James Coutts.
‘You can work all you want in training on positions and stuff. Like obviously, the new coach has got his set of tactics. So we've had to learn a whole new style of playing. We think we nailed it in training, but obviously, we can't actually find if we've nailed it until we play a game. We had the odd preseason game, which unfortunately I missed due to an injury. The issue with pre-season matches is that they are not competitive, they are different to a league or a cup game. So you can't really test yourself against the opposition like in you can in a league or competitive environment.
It's tough going into preseason. Everyone's excited to see each other. We're working on specific things ready for the season. Looking at the opposition, looking at the game tactics and then a week before the season for it to be postponed. So all our tactics, everything we've worked on pretty much goes out the window. We stayed positive and then come back into it again. Okay, we will restart, so we go through all the things we learned in preseason, go over them again. And then to get another week or so before the season was supposed to start again and it be cancelled. It's real challenging on you mentally. It's tough. Yeah, that's why I think, for me personally, the things keep me going is knowing that it is going to come back. It isn't done forever. I don't think anyone can be happy that this has happened. I don't know anyone that can say that. So yeah, just knowing that it is coming back at some point is a positive. It’s just a question of when, really?
Living on the inside, looking out
What has 2020 taught us so far? The thing that comes to mind is how fragmented everything has become. There is no better way to illustrate this than if you were to look at the final rounds of the A-League with all games played in the Sydney bubble. Melbourne City fans were robbed the opportunity to see their club play in its first final. It’s demonstrated how fragmented things have become. Right now we are living in a time where everything is fragmented and our ‘normal’ or the sense of ‘normal’ is being challenged in everyday life. The one thing we need to keep doing is to look to the future and continue to have hope that things will alter for the better down the track. Currently our Football world is fragmented so it’s important to keep a sense of perspective.
While the competition here in Victoria is paused, waiting for 2021 we are collectively holding our breath that with a new year will come a fresh new season and with that life will get back to ‘normal’. In the meantime, we continue to look interstate at streams from our sister NPL competitions wishing we could be out there on the park playing or watching the game we love. If you take a deep dive into the team lists you’ll find familiar names of players such as Stefan Valentini, Mark Ochieng and Michael Weier who are playing out 2020 in this competitions. It really is like being in fish bowl looking out but not being able to experience the reality. For now Football is. Fragmented but it certainly has a lot to look forward to. My hope is that 2021 will be a year like no other and certainly a better one than 2020.
Where do you see yourself this time next year?
Matt Hennessey
‘That is a question that I asked myself probably every day. I don't even know to be honest, I've got different scenarios that play out in my head on what I want to do where I see myself. So in no uncertain terms, I have absolutely no idea. Potentially l looking at a change of scenery, also looking at a change in career, and also looking at a few other things that I have sort of aspirations and a bit of a personal drive to do. It's about finding which route I want to go down and just doing it.’
Josh Wilkins
‘Ah, hopefully, top of the league, or having the premiership already in the bag that now I don't know, like, obviously, having played a full season, you know, everything's sort of relatively back to normal and, you know, having supporters and fans and everything, like being able to come to view games, and just feeling like we're not in a pandemic or we're not being, you know, held down. Obviously, what's going to happen? We don't know, but Yeah, just it makes you appreciate what we took for granted back in those times. So yeah, normality would be fantastic. But we'll see what happens.’
stefan zinni
‘This time next year look, I'd like it to be mid season like how it was last year. You know, just some normality returned to life. To be allowed to go and train with your team and play a match on the weekend. That would be great. It's all the things I took for granted last year. I’d love all of that to just come back. Yeah. And a bit of normality would be great.’
Morgan filer
‘Just how we're going to go as a team really because like I said, we haven't really played any competitive game so we haven't challenged ourself properly. So yeah, just seeing how we go and how far we can push. Like you said, we had a good last season it ended positively So we were hoping just to continue that this season. Obviously we can't, so hopefully we can continue it next season and push on.’
If you’d like to catch up on previous interviews with Josh Wilkins, Matt Hennessey and Stefan Zinni click on the name for a link.
Please note this interviews were recorded during the period August 15-17, 2020.